I was reading Ann Voskamp’s blog just now at The Holy Experience. What she wrote about being alive really struck me.
“I desecrate now when I dismiss it in my push for the next. There are snowflakes sticking to the glass of the window.Right there at the table’s edge I can see them clustering together, piling, melding on the pane. I almost missed it.
I miss living this moment because my head’s already moved into the next moment — the one that isn’t even here yet — and when I am not in this moment but trying to shove into a moment that doesn’t even exist — I miss out on living at all. I may bodily be in this space but I am not even alive.”
I am a nurse with a million things to do and tasks to accomplish in a circumscribed space of time. I am ALWAYS thinking of the next moment. I can even see myself brushing off the present needs of patients in my care because I see the hour is getting late and my pile of tasks is still too high even though I have skipped dinner and bathroom breaks and catching my breath. I want this to change. I want to live in the now. That is my resolution for this year. If I have something to do now, I will. Things that are not life-threatening will wait. If my time runs out then my time runs out. Now dictates what I will do.
So now I must feed the dogs. They are at my feet, whining….
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