I have been tossing around what I am supposed to do about a situation in my life that has been going on for about a year. I don’t know whether to speak up to have what is said only fall on deaf ears or to remain quiet and continue to go against a State Code of Guidelines that sets safe staffing standards for my work area. Andrea Dawn commented to me once (in reference to God fighting the battle for Gideon against Sisera) , “The LORD will indeed “march ahead of us” and send the foot soldiers in a panic, but I have found that I personally must take a stand against the leader of the enemy troops.” How do I “take a stand”? Indeed, I don’t even really know who the leader is.
I received similar insights from another Andrea at Abandoned for Life:
the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamed would have come one’s way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now. -William Hutchinson and Goethe
And, as I receive these promptings from my Andrea’s, I am simultaneously reading Judges 6 – 8 where God took hesitant, insecure, cowardly Gideon and raised him to be a judge over Israel. I read and reread the transformation of Gideon. The turning point, it seems, was when Gideon decided to pull down his father’s altar to Baal and cut down the Asherah pole standing beside it. He built an altar to the Lord in its place and sacrificed a bull on the altar using the asherah pole as firewood. I love that the Scripture says that Gideon did all this at night so that no one would know who did it. That is just the kind of stand I would take, a scaredy-cat stand. But, it was a stand, and it was a bold one, minus the boldness.
God honored that scaredy-cat stand. Just as William Hutchinson said would happen, once Gideon committed himself, help came from an unforeseen place–his father. When the people tried to kill Gideon, Joash stood with his son. And that was just the beginning…find out all that miraculously happened to Gideon in Judges 6 – 8!
So…here I am at a crossroads. I am of the opinion that speaking up will not help. That may change as the situation changes, but not now. I am still surprised at who I am finding the “enemy” to be. People I thought would be helpful are joining the administration in their survival practices which border on corruption. Others, whom I thought would be easily swayed, are not; and, in the midst of everything in my microcosmos, God is being God–of the hurricane, of the mustard seed and of the health system. He’s telling me, “Have all the people go down to the stream to take a drink. The ones who lap their water from their hands will be your army.” I think He is preparing me for battle. Meanwhile I am present with my most needy patients. In this Year of Now for me, I am learning how to do that more and more.
And a final word from the founder of my profession:
“The martyr sacrifices themselves entirely in vain. Or rather not in vain, for they merely make the selfish more selfish, the lazy more lazy and the narrow more narrow”-Florence Nightengale
For the love of God and nursing,