Hunting and applying for another job, I uncovered something about myself. Sharing lunch with my sister today, I shared with her and uncovered something about myself. Trying to let the dogs out while they wanted to follow my husband, I uncovered something about myself. “Uncovered” rather than “discovered” is an important distinction here because I knew these things about myself, but I hadn’t thought about them in a long while. Sometimes doing things we don’t do every day, things that take us out of our everyday pattern, makes us more aware because we are not on auto-pilot.
I had to fill out a questionnaire about how I would handle situations on a job application. It seemed to take forever and I knew they were asking me the same questions over and over, but in different ways to be sure I was answering as truthfully as I could. I was reminded that I withdraw in conflict and become quiet during disputes. I let those who need control have it and spend a lot of time doing the “scut work” no one else wants to do.
When I was with my sister today, she told me her husband gets exasperated when he goes with her anywhere because she will go right up to people and start to engage in a conversation. She is energized by people and she craves interaction. I told her I carefully choose who I want to interact with because interaction tires me. I like to be with people, but I also need time alone to recuperate. She looked at me very strangely and said, “You don’t want to get to know everyone? How do you know you won’t be missing a real gem if you don’t check them out?” I told her I let the people persons in a group test them out and I watch. It doesn’t always pan out, but I don’t want to risk having to listen to the entire life of a whiner. She just stared at me with “deer in the headlight eyes” and said, “Man, I never knew that about you!” (I must be a good actress.)
Lastly, I realize I am not very articulate and I must be very difficult to listen to verbally because my husband seems to never listen. I can stop talking right in mid-sentence right at the pinnacle of a story and he never asks me to finish. When I blog I write and re-write so that it sounds ok to readers, but can you imagine having to be with me an hour to hear a 5-minute story? That must be what it seems like to my husband because he just doesn’t have the endurance anymore to last till the end of the story.
So these are the three things I uncovered about myself today: 1) I shut down when peace is disturbed, 2) I expend my energy on a select few because I tire easily in human interaction, and 3) my silence is probably good since no one is listening anyway.
This all can be summed up by a portion of Proverbs 17 that was a part of my daily devotions this week
27It makes a lot of sense
to be a person of few words
and to stay calm.
28Even fools seem smart
when they are quiet.
Walking with Him this Wednesday with Ann’s grace-filled community,
Dear, Friends and Passers-by, I am posting this Tuesday because I will be gone from my home all day tomorrow. God bless you and good-night!