Faith demands introspection so there can be resurrection

Hunting and applying for another job, I uncovered something about myself. Sharing lunch with my sister today, I shared with her and uncovered something about myself. Trying to let the dogs out while they wanted to follow my husband, I uncovered something about myself. “Uncovered” rather than “discovered” is an important distinction here because I knew these things about myself, but I hadn’t thought about them in a long while. Sometimes doing things we don’t do every day, things that take us out of our everyday pattern, makes us more aware because we are not on auto-pilot.

I had to fill out a questionnaire about how I would handle situations on a job application. It seemed to take forever and I knew they were asking me the same questions over and over, but in different ways to be sure I was answering as truthfully as I could. I was reminded that I withdraw in conflict and become quiet during disputes. I let those who need control have it and spend a lot of time doing the “scut work” no one else wants to do.

When I was with my sister today, she told me her husband gets exasperated when he goes with her anywhere because she will go right up to people and start to engage in a conversation. She is energized by people and she craves interaction. I told her I carefully choose who I want to interact with because interaction tires me. I like to be with people, but I also need time alone to recuperate. She looked at me very strangely and said, “You don’t want to get to know everyone? How do you know you won’t be missing a real gem if you don’t check them out?” I told her I let the people persons in a group test them out and I watch. It doesn’t always pan out, but I don’t want to risk having to listen to the entire life of a whiner. She just stared at me with “deer in the headlight eyes” and said, “Man, I never knew that about you!” (I  must be a good actress.)

Lastly, I realize I am not very articulate and I must be very difficult to listen to verbally because my husband seems to never listen. I can stop talking right in mid-sentence right at the pinnacle of a story and he never asks me to finish. When I blog I write and re-write so that it sounds ok to readers, but can you imagine having to be with me an hour to hear a 5-minute story? That must be what it seems like to my husband because he just doesn’t have the endurance anymore to last till the end of the story.

So these are the three things I uncovered about myself today: 1) I shut down when peace is disturbed, 2) I expend my energy on a select few because I tire easily in human interaction, and 3) my silence is probably good since no one is listening anyway.

This all can be summed up by a portion of Proverbs 17 that was a part of my daily devotions this week

27It makes a lot of sense

   to be a person of few words

   and to stay calm.

    28Even fools seem smart

   when they are quiet.

Walking with Him this Wednesday with Ann’s grace-filled community,

Dawn

Dear, Friends and Passers-by, I am posting this Tuesday because I will be gone from my home all day tomorrow. God bless you and good-night!

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3 comments on “Faith demands introspection so there can be resurrection

  1. my dear Dawn… I ‘need’ to give you a long and gentle hug… I think a part of me is like your sister some days… like on a plane journey I will love the interaction with all the new people…on many other occasions, like you, I may simply observe, deeply observe… and have rest.
    My husband has few close friends… he also is tired easily with interaction so chooses those who will encourage and help lift his spirits. Mind you he has 28-10 year olds to contend with through all the school days. He needs his rest. I on the other hand visit each day with 25 goats 5 horses 2 dogs 2 rabbits 2 ducks 3 chickens 1 cockatiel 1 turtle 1 cat. I speak their talk all day and look forward to some people talk when my husband comes home at night.
    I too can stop talking in mid-sentence right at the pinnacle of a story and he doesn’t notice….
    Men and women are wired so differently, generally. I do love the exceptions and find them refreshing.
    your Proverb verse,

    to be a person of few words and to stay calm.

    Even fools seem smart when they are quiet.

    has always been a great reminder to pick and choose my words and who I share them with….I do have some trouble keeping it down to ‘few’!
    tea with you would be awesome… I’d hear all your words…
    dear friend, you are treasured!

    • Dear Susan,

      Thanks for your beautifully encouraging and empathic words. You can understand my ups and downs and why our men are men. I really can see why your daughter loves like she does and why your son is studying hard to hone his craft. They had someone to encourage them as God made them…you.

      I would love to see all your animals. It sounds like a mini safari and you have all the room to let them roam. Enjoy this wonderful season as we prepare for His coming.

      Hugs,
      Dawn

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