God is good all the time

The world is BIG! What will I do if I don’t do nursing? How will I serve the Lord? I think I would like to work in a situation where I am alone. I need rest from people pleasing. Let me work with yarn, plaster paris, electronics parts, animals (ah, yes, animals would be good), money, software or burgers and fries at the grill. So I’m zipping through all the hundreds of jobs on job sites. I quickly realize that I can’t lift 50 pounds, operate heavy equipment or drill down to the center of the earth so that eliminates about 25% of everything in this town because we’re gas industy driven. However, the men who do these jobs must eat, do their laundry and purchase items for daily living. I can be a part of that. And so on goes the mind in the dark–at night.

Nights are long when your spirit is spent, and every once in awhile there is the feeling of panic. I get up, go to scripturetyper.com and put in Colossians 2:1-2

I want you to know how hard I am contending for you and for all those at Laodicea and for all who have not met me personally. My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ.

The typing and focus it takes to recreate these memorized verses bring calm and I am able to sleep again. In the morning it is hard to rise because of broken sleep, but I do. At breakfast I am refreshed with prayer from The Valley of Vision

My God, Thou hast helped me to see,

that whatever good be in honor and rejoicing,

how good is He that gives them and He who withdraws them;

That blessing does not lie so much

in receiving from and in Thee, but

in holding forth Thy glory and virtue;

that it is an amazing thing

to see Deity in a creature, speaking, acting, filling, shining through it;

that nothing is good but Thee

that I am near good when I am near Thee,

that to be like Thee is a glorious thing:

This is my magnet, my attraction.

Thou art all my good in times of peace;

not only support in days of trouble,

my one sufficiency when life shall end.

Help me to see how good Thy will is in all,

and even when it crosses mine

teach me to be pleased with it.

Grant me to feel Thee in fire, and food and every providence,

and to see that Thy many gifts and creatures

are but Thy hands and fingers taking hold of me.

Thou bottomless fountain of all good,

I give myself to Thee out of love,

for all I have or own is Thine,

my goods, family, church, self,

to do with as Thou wilt,

to honour Thyself by me, and by all mine.

If it be consistent with Thy eternal counsels, the purpose of Thy grace,

and the great ends of Thy glory,

then bestow upon me blessings of they comforts;

If not, let me resign myself to Thy wiser determinations.

This is a prayer that all God’s gifts are good even if they do not seem good at the time. It is a wonderful prayer to center me at the beginning of today. Today I go help at the free medical clinic in town. I need to get my eyes off me. I then have lunch with my sister, the pit bull, and then go to the library to pick up a book that Cora and A recommended to Craig. I think it will be good for me, too.

God is good, all the time,

Dawn

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16 comments on “God is good all the time

  1. Isn’t that the most beautiful prayer??? I just love that book and it sits by my chair for constant reading and praying. I love the last line, “let me resign myself to Thy wiser determinations.”

    As I read through your post, Dawn, I was taken back to an old, old hymn we used to sing in my childhood church:

    My Jesus, as Thou wilt!
    Oh, may Thy will be mine!
    Into Thy hand of love
    I would my all resign;
    Through sorrow, or through joy,
    Conduct me as Thine own,
    And help me still to say,
    My Lord, Thy will be done!

    My Jesus, as Thou wilt!
    Though seen through many a tear,
    Let not my star of hope
    Grow dim or disappear;
    Since Thou on earth hast wept,
    And sorrowed oft alone,
    If I must weep with Thee,
    My Lord, Thy will be done!

    My Jesus, as Thou wilt!
    All shall be well for me;
    Each changing future scene
    I gladly trust with Thee.
    Straight to Thy rest above
    I travel calmly on,
    And sing, in life or death,
    My Lord, Thy will be done!

    Though I cannot even imagine you flipping hamburgers, I can understand the desire to be away from the pressure of people, performance, evaluations, competition, etc. I’m one who looks for closet jobs — little cubicles or one person offices. That’s why I made a great transcriptionist in a psych hospital. Headphones, alone with a recorder and a computer. Perfect for a loner, but it never stretched me.

    I understand, too, the anxious feelings in the dark of night. Why is it shadows and fears always seem so large when it is quiet and dark??? As the song above says, Please don’t let your star of hope grow dim or disappear. He has a plan for you, all worked out, and it is perfect! Praying for you!!!

  2. Dear Cora,

    He is the center of the universe and also its creator. He is my center and also my creator. He is the center of an atom and also its creator. He is the essence of all — the big and the small and so everywhere He is there.

    The prayer says it is an amazing thing to see Deity in a creature, speaking, acting, filling, shining through it;

    It reminds me of Keith Green’s wonderful contemporary Christian song Stained Glass

    We are like windows stained with colors of the rainbow, no longer set in a darkened room for the bride groom wants to shine through you. Oh to speak, act, be filled with and shine Jesus.

    Let not my star of hope grow dim or disappear

    Thank you, Cora,
    Dawn

  3. Such beautiful faith on display.
    Dawn, please know I am praying for You and trusting Him to show you the next step. He is right there with you. But I know you know that.
    You are an inspiration.
    Thanking God for you today.

      • Danelle,

        I don’t feel like an inspiration. I feel fake and forced. I am doing what He says, but not feeling much of it. I think it is ok, though. I have the feeling (no pun intended) that that is what He would have me do right now. My insides burn and ache and there are nauseous waves that come with deep deep sorrow, but I choose to praise. I believe that as I am obedient in this, the feelings will come. Praise will act like a leaf blower or jack hammer or something like that and clean this house of the trash. Thanks for letting me know you can still see Jesus here amongst the sadness, brokenness, confusion; amongst all the trash. I am that blind man that needs a second touch.

        Love you so much, Danelle,
        Dawn

        PS I read your post about the dancing cow. There was so much there, such richness, that I couldn’t comment. My thoughts and ability to focus and make a succinct statement are not easilly accessible right now. When the fogs and mist rises a bit, I will read it again.

  4. I see you Dawn and the rainbow colours spilled all around you and God smiling because He knows you believe Him for the good things He has in store for you.
    What a most beautiful outpouring of your heart.
    I understand you wanting to even flip hamburgers… funnily enough I even thought of it the other day! Though I’m back to my drawing. Odd about that too. I have been on a list for almost two years to show this March in a Window show downtown; an art show and I have been preparing for it. I thought I would just check in today and confirm that all was ready only to find that they made a clerical error and my name is not on the list… I watched them record it in their book two years ago. So now I am recorded for 2014… I wasn’t even upset though very bewildered as were they. They even remember me coming in to sign up but couldn’t find my name amywhere. Oops, I am so glad it is God who orders my days. Bethany says I should just have my own private show. I know some big places that might be pleased to do it for me… Now see what God has in store. This show was to raise money for the orphanage in South Africa and I know that is God’s heart. Tomorrow is a new day. I am pleased to wait on Him.

    Blessings dear friend as we wait together… i would love to witness that meeting with the dear pit bull tomorrow… I have ladies’ tea and will enjoy all the dear friends and their little puppies.
    We resign ourselves to His wiser determinations….with grateful hearts

    • Yes, you MUST have your own private showing, especially since it is to raise money for the wee ones! Your work is exquisite. You could also get some shop owners to place packets of the cards for sale in their shops somewhere. My friend does that with cards she creates with stamps and she does very well. I have another friend who makes baby scrapbooks, wedding albums, calendars and cards for people as they order them.

      I am so sorry for this mistake, but it may have only happened to move you into a greater market for the building of His orphanage! It’s exciting to think about and contemplate!

      Thank you for saying you contemplated flipping burgers, too. Somehow that was very comforting.

      Love you,
      Dawn

  5. Dawn, my heart goes out to you in the hurt and pain you are feeling. Being let go from a job must feel something like divorce and other painful experiences in a certain way.

    I am inspired by the fact that you are continuing to put one foot in front of the other, minus any warm feelings. That is a hard thing to do, I know. i will have to email you sometime about the results of something you suggested to me a while back. It is rather interesting, at a minimum and could be huge in my little life.

    I am nudged by your volunteer example. God put that on my list, also, the list I mentioned at Craig’s. It is time. And here you write about the very same thing…and you are doing it without even feeling massively inspired to do so. That is huge, Dawn.

    I think your desire to flip burgers, etc., is similar to my desire to work in a laundry washing and folding clothes. Years ago, during a very stressful time, I took a similarly simple job between my professional assignments, and it was perfect. i was alone. I was doing a simple repetitive task I enjoyed. And, it filled perfectly, though modestly, the financial gap I needed to fill for two months. I was the single dishwasher person for the dinner shift in a local college. I loved it!!!

    Your feeling fake and forced…even that admission is inspiring and helpful, because you are being honest. I pray for you that you will have gentle refreshment and encouragement along the way-restorative help. Our Father knows what you need so i pray that His help will come to you.

    Sending warm hugs and prayers for you for today. Just for today, so I can pray fresh new prayers for you tomorrow for that day, and likewise for the days that follow.

    With love,
    A.

    • Dear A,

      I read this over and over. The deep compassion here felt so deeply and the encouragement behind every point so compelling. It helps. It really does.

      Love you,
      Dawn

  6. I came by often today, looking for a post or even just a word. I thought of you often, Dawn, and prayed for you as you go through this grieving period. It is like grieving, isn’t it? Losing something that has been so dear to your heart for so long. I just want you to know that as I stood there before the throne of grace, I saw Him pick up your burden, just as He did mine, and He is carrying it, I know. Lean heavily on Him, Dawn. He shoulders are strong!

  7. Dear Dawn – I finally got to look in on you and your blog…
    I’m so sorry that you lost your job.. especiallly as you seem to have quite a few worries and concerns..
    I certainly hope all will evolve favourably for you..
    I hope you take some time for ‘yourself’, relax a little, let your mind wonder with some quiet but simple relections – I’m sure God would allow you that..

    I’m really feeling your anxiety but you know I believe that somtimes even though things are not as we plan they are actually what is meant to be..

    All the very best Dawn — Lv Joan.

  8. Dear Joan,

    somtimes even though things are not as we plan they are actually what is meant to be..

    I, too, believe this, Joan. I’m not sure we come pre-scripted, but I certainly believe that what happens shapes us into the image of our creator, and that is always what is meant to be.

    Thank you for your love,
    Always,
    Dawn

  9. Dearest Dawn, I’m not really sure if I’m sorry or happy for you that you left the job. I’ve been dreaming of leaving my job and serving Jesus full-time, but I have a family and obligations.
    If your situation is not as mine, you might see it as God’s way of giving you more free time to write, check up on people who don’t show up often at church, go on a mission trip to Africa, or it may just be a perfect time for personal reflection and meditation.
    If, like me, you are supporting a family or can’t afford living without a job, please have faith that God never forgets his Children and he will get you one, He said it in Isaiah 49:15
    May God bless your life, as you have touched the lives of many.
    Ps. I loved the song you posted in the reply to Cora.

    • Mike,

      This response made me smile ear to ear. My son, Samuel, is a systems engineer and I could see him write what you just wrote. He would be ecstatic if he could become independently wealthy and serve the Lord full-time. He cheered when I lost my job!

      He and a fellow engineer invented a non-competitive family board game in 2005 which he had hoped would get as popular as Monopoly and then he could live on that income and serve the Lord full-time. It did win Family Game of the Year from core board gamers, but it never was a big seller. You may be interested in perusing his game site for fun to check out someone who has the same passion for Kingdom service as you. http://www.vanishedplanetgames.com

      Enjoy,
      Dawn

      • I think Samuel and I have a lot in common, I’m doing a lot of System Engineering myself, and I’ve been developing a game with a friend of mine, but haven’t finished it yet 😀 I can’t believe that 😀

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