From wasteland to landfill

Wasteland is land that is barren, or ravaged. It is a  place, era, or aspect of life considered lacking in spiritual, aesthetic, or other humanizing qualities; a vacuum (Free Online Dictionary). I worked in a wasteland the last year I worked in the hospital. I’ve written about it before. It truly was a place that lacked any humanizing qualities. It was oppressive beyond belief. While in the wasteland, however, I was privileged to uncover a treasure. It was not a part of the wasteland, but as I let the message of this treasure become a part of who I was, I began to change. As I changed I became better able to handle the wasteland. I was better able to hang on. Paradoxically, however, the treasure enabled me to hear God plainly and I distinctly heard God telling me He didn’t want me hanging on. He wanted me to get out of the wasteland. He was saying to me, “This is the way. Walk in it.” Fearful and stubborn, I would not go. The hospital had become my source. Sadly, God had to summon someone to make me go. That someone was my boss.

So today I am reading Isaiah 30:12 – 33. Isaiah is writing about Israel and how they didn’t trust God to take care of them against the Assyrians. They refused to leave Egypt and kept depending on Egypt to save them. As I read the chapter and put my name in the Israeli part and inserted the name of the hospital where I worked in place of Egypt and put the names of  hospital administrators where Isaiah named the Assyrians, it is EXACTLY my story. I believe this chapter was a rhema word for me today from the Lord.

  This is the reply of the Holy One of Israel:

“Because you despise what I tell you
and trust instead in oppression and lies,
13 calamity will come upon you suddenly—
like a bulging wall that bursts and falls.
In an instant it will collapse
and come crashing down.
14 You will be smashed like a piece of pottery—
shattered so completely that
there won’t be a piece big enough
to carry coals from a fireplace
or a little water from the well.”

15 This is what the Sovereign Lord,
the Holy One of Israel, says:
“Only in returning to me
and resting in me will you be saved.
In quietness and confidence is your strength.
But you would have none of it.
16 You said, ‘No, we will get our help from Egypt.
They will give us swift horses for riding into battle.’
But the only swiftness you are going to see
is the swiftness of your enemies chasing you!
17 One of them will chase a thousand of you.
Five of them will make all of you flee.
You will be left like a lonely flagpole on a hill
or a tattered banner on a distant mountaintop.

18 So the Lord must wait for you to come to him
so he can show you his love and compassion.
For the Lord is a faithful God.
Blessed are those who wait for his help.

The Scripture goes on to tell what happens to the Assyrians and the people of the Lord who return to Him. I am claiming the promises to the people of the Lord as promises to me. They are amazing verses. What I can say is that since I was booted out of the wasteland, I have found the compassion and love of the Lord. I have learned to trust Him in every way. He left me no other option. I was left as He promised, “as a lonely flagpole on a hill, a tattered banner on a distant hilltop”. BUT I had the treasure I had found during my days in the wasteland, and, I was using it. It enabled me to survive the final months in the wasteland,  prepared me for the exodus from the wasteland and taught me to wait for His help.

Please come back when I link up with Ann for Multitudes on Monday. I will be using my treasure that day to show you how he turned the wasteland in my life into a land fill. I will also share some of what He is using to fill that land.

Always alleluia because of His amazing grace,



8 comments on “From wasteland to landfill

  1. always alleluea… what peace in midst of a ravaged land. God has imparted his secrets to you my friend… I love this story of the wasteland and the verses are some of the ones God gave me a song for years ago as they also spoke intensely to me.
    Blessings in Him dear sister/the pictures speak volumes!

  2. Dear Susan.

    Until you said it, I had not realized that God was showing me His secrets. Oh, my! I am going to go to the Ethereal Library online and pull up Dark Night of the Soul again–my copy, with all the highlights and underlines. There is something about His sharing His secrets. Thanks for your care-full reading and walking alongside. YOU are a treasure, for sure.


  3. I’d like to make some profound comment… But I am sitting here with my mouth hanging open, reeling in the “aha” moment! You have paid a tremendous price for this knowledge. May none of us squander it!

    Big hugs, Carrie

    • Dear Carrie,

      Jesus paid the ultimate price for my victory. When I think that my life was driving the nails deeper into His hands and the spear more decisively into His side, I am so sorry that it took me so long. He was pleading, but I simply c(w)ould not hear. I had relegated God to the role of spectator as I occupied the throne of my life. He would not Father me like that. I was being an intolerable brat. He took control, through Patsy, and I was sent to my room.

      There was nothing in my room and He would not allow distractions. Since the second week of January, I have applied for about 75 jobs and I’ve gotten none of them. Several of them were perfect for me and I was turned down. God had me in solitary confinement and He was the warden. I’m not going to be released until His time. I am perfect with that.

      In addition, He prepared my husband for this grand change in our life, had my children on board (they were cheering when I said I lost my job) and I have received a gift that few ever know: the knowledge of who one’s friends really are. There were absolutely no negatives. The issues that logic would deem negative, simply aren’t. I consider them small prices to pay for ruthless trust, like Paul I shout
      “I count all things loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus, my Lord; for Whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but refuse, that I may win Christ,” Philippians 3:8

      I’m glad I had a chance to reply to you, Carrie. It made me have to pull a lot of thoughts together. That is good.

      Hugs back to you, Dear Friend,

  4. Thank you, Dawn, for your willingness to bare your soul so soon after being “booted out of the wasteland”. I have not been able to do that and it has been three years. The article in the newspaper stirred up all manner of emotions again, but I know that God booted me out, too, because I was not going to go on my own. It has been quite a journey and I have had many dark nights of the soul. Thank you for helping me to learn to trust more in Him and less on myself. Dying to self is really quite a process. There is so much to unlearn. I was in a wasteland for so long, in that office trying to do what I thought I was supposed to be doing, working in what was an incredible exercise in futility! “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved.” That should have been on my lips every day in the wasteland – perhaps I would have gone on my own and saved my health a bit! What WAS I trying to prove???? But, “the Lord is a faithful God” and He is so good!
    Thank you for your insight and for helping me to see what I didn’t see before!

  5. Dearest Deb,

    We can only be full of Him, which I know is your heart’s desire, when we are empty of EVERYTHING else. I pray, “Whatever you must do, Lord, prepare me for You.” It took a lot for Him to get my sticky fingers off the wheel and I don’t want to get them stuck on there again. I wrote about this on February 15. It was a major part of what I needed to learn after the wasteland. (See

    It’s amazing to have these old blogs to look at. I covered so much ground in 5 months. I think, in part, because I had such a great blog community that cheered me on, gave me “pointers,” let me obsess and prayed and prayed and prayed.
    They wrote me poems, blogs, comments and private e-mails that I treasure. I call them my loving “grow” notes and I have them all tucked in a special folder I call my First Aid Kit.

    I love you, Debbie,

    • Dawn, I love that you have kept your grow notes and that you call it your First Aid Kit. You definitely have a testimony, girl and you are not afraid to share it. One of my favourite speakers often says “you always get the “test” before you get the “mony”. Love ya, girl.

  6. Wasteland to landfill? Amen.
    It Is exciting to read all that God is showing you and teaching you. It is beautiful to see your obedience, trust and faith.
    I cannot wait to read about the treasure chest you are filling.
    God is certainly using you in mighty ways.

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