This morning I am minding my own business. I think I am being very good (but I haven’t left my bedroom yet). I go down to breakfast and read the morning devotions from Proverbs 18:7
I get to thinking how many times I trap myself with my lips and I think about being a fool. It is so depressing and the words from Philippians 2:14-16 which Paul was writing to the new church at Philippi keep speaking to me:
14 Do everything without complaining and arguing, 15 so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. 16 Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.
I am really convicted of murmuring and complaining and wondering if I can ever be a shining light for the Gospel and then I read about Martin Luther and how he could not remain silent in the face of the corruptness of the church where he was a priest. He could not be silent and tacked his 95 Theses on the Wittenberg door in Germany and became a fugitive. He was certainly light. The Puritans came out of the Reformation through Luther’s boisterous, vociferous, formidable light. Here I stand again at the crossroads of the serenity prayer
What are the things I cannot change and what are the things I can change? Give me wisdom, Lord, to know the difference.
This morning I was walking my dog, pondering all this. My dog deposited his “gift” on someone’s business property and I promptly scooped it up in a baggie and threw it in the nearest dumpster. The man came out and told me that dumpster was not a public dumpster. I told him I would retrieve the bagged “gift” and never do it again. I had to find a stick and snag the bag (fighting dumpster bees as I did). I have to say that welling up inside me are visions of collecting dog “gifts” for a week and dumping them in his business’ yard–not Godly, I know. What is this within me? O wretched woman that I am!
Will I never die to this self?