In the time of smoldering embers

I have just begun to read the book Fully Alive by Ken Davis. In it he describes his life as a smoldering ember. He was living, but “under the radar”, merely marking time, going through the motions. He described this time as living like a smoldering ember. I thought about this a long time. and I think that was where I had been for the past couple of years. I was in a rut. I was  just doing the next programmed thing. I was exhausted, moving purely in some sort of centrifical force in a well-worn circular path from home to work and back. I tried to break free–to do other things–but they were all carefully placed around and between the circle of duty. This circle was suffocating, it was NOT a circle of life. In the circle there was no air, no thought, no creativity, no voice…only duty, degradation and drowning. The circular motion was caused by the negative pressure of a drain in which I spun downward and could see no way to escape. Every revolution leading me closer to the sewer until…one day

I was plunged out of the spiral, spewed out into open air and landed in an unknown place. In that unknown place there was no schedule, no requirements, no duty. I was free. The date was January 6, 2012. I spent the next 8 months there. The Holy Spirit came and gently blew across the smoldering embers and eventually I got my fire back. Some of you traveled those months with me. This Monday I put you at the top of my gratitude list. This Monday, October 1, 2012, I am thankful for

#823 all who walked with me through the time of smoldering embers and helped me back to living fully.

#824 those who pray. Together we are a powerful force in this sinful world.

#825 the Holy Spirit who bears witness with my spirit to comfort and keep me, and who blew across the smoldering embers to ignite the flames of passion in my life again.

#826 the season of fall where God shows us in nature the beauty in dying and its part in the cycle of life.

#827 shared time with children and grandchildren – enjoying the fruits of the spring and summer of my life.

#828 a great place to work at the end of my working days.

#829 a shared faith at work in the one who loves our patients the most.

#830 a shared vision for caring for our patients because of Jesus.

#831 each and every day of freedom.

#832 warnings to prepare for days ahead where freedom may not be the norm.

#833 improving health and strength.

#834 a good earthly doctor who is also a friend.

#835 the fellowship of His sufferings. I am thankful for those willing to reach out and share such times so we have real fellowship and do not feel alone.

#836 cool nights and warm covers (ah, I must leave them and get about my day, Dear Friends).

With the Multitudes at Ann’s,

Dawn

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5 comments on “In the time of smoldering embers

  1. Ah, can I identify with this: ” I was exhausted, moving purely in some sort of centrifical force in a well-worn circular path… circle of duty. I was… spewed out into open air and landed in a… place [where] there was no schedule, no requirements, no duty. I was free.” (So well put!)
    I’m still there, and very blessed in it. God has taken me back to the deep places of my faith and worship and enjoyment of Him, deeper and better than ever. Hands down, best time of my life, and now He’s showing me how best to be using it for His Kingdom. Getting plunged out doesn’t look too good at the time, but can be the entry into the hugest blessings!

  2. I was plunged out of the spiral, spewed out into open air and landed in an unknown place. In that unknown place there was no schedule, no requirements, no duty. I was free…I remember how scary that was ! Isn’t is wonderful that God could see where He was taking you and why?
    We often get stuck in a suffocating circle and when it gets so as we can bear it no longer, God does make a way of escape. He is ever faithful. This year of grace has been life giving hasn’t it my friend! I continue to pray God’s loving hand on you and Russ and all your beloveds as well as all those you brush alongside with through each day. You are salt with savour dear friend and we have feasted in your gratitudes today!

  3. When you were flushed, you didn’t want to go. If given the choice you would have stayed swirling around in your misery. But God had better plans for you. You were afraid of living without the supposed security that the centrifuge provided.

    And for a while you walked without knowing… unable to control your environment. God has led you through to the other side and restored everything that you exhausted while on your journey. The boon that restored everything would not have occurred without the journey. It reminds me of when the contractor ran off with our $22,000 leaving us stuck in temporary housing for over 2 years. At the end God restored our money in a miraculous way. He is faithful.

    • This is so absolutely true! He is faithful. I heard a commentator this week say that sometimes God can’t let us have what we think we must have because He has a much better plan. He used the illustration of Mary and Martha. They said to Jesus, “If you would have been here our brother would not have died.” Jesus wept with them because He felt their pain, but then He showed them His real purposes and raised their brother from the dead. Mary and Martha would never have prayed for that. It was beyond what they could imagine. Jesus’ plans are always way beyond us. Our job is to TRUST, simply TRUST. I am learning. Love you, my son.

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