It feels as if…

My cell phone was ringing somewhere this morning. I didn’t know where it was, but I could hear it. My face was covered with moisturizer as I stared at myself half clad in the bathroom mirror. “Should I run and try to find the phone or not?” In a split second decision I ran toward the sound and realized, on my way down the stairs, that the phone was in my purse sitting on the sofa. My hands were covered in moisturizer. “Dare I reach into my purse’s cloth pocket and get the phone? Yes!” Caller ID flashed my sister’s number. I had to get it.

IMG_3591Debby won a wagon full of toys. “Do I know a family with small boys who could use a really good wagon…someone who cannot afford such extravagance?” Ah, Sister Deb, I LOVE your heart. That’s what the call was about, however, that was not the important part of the call for me. We talked nigh onto a half hour or more. She told me that her life has turned around so dramatically that she can hardly believe she is awake. She feels like she’s in a dream. Since being exonerated from an embezzlement charge and the real perpetrator is facing big jail time, she says many positive things are happening to her so fast that she can hardly take it all in. One of the small things was winning this wagon full of toys and a $50.00 gift card to Toys ‘R Us.

“Dawn,” she said, “during the period of time when I was fired from my job of 35 years after being falsely accused of embezzlement, I hated myself. No one knows what it is like to hate themselves unless they have lived this hell. You are inside this body and you can’t get away from yourself. You don’t know who believes what you’ve been accused of and who believes you couldn’t have done it. Over the past month since I been exonerated, each day it feels as if pieces of rotting flesh are falling off me. I can feel my old self again and, frankly, I am so glad to be back. I’ve missed me. The loathing I have had to live for the past 3 1/2 years is falling off bit by bit. It’s like I’m being rewarded for seeing this through.”

Friends who read here and have prayed for my sister, she is being restored. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for praying. I thought I was going to lose her. Praise Jesus, she made it through–with His help.

He is with us,



6 comments on “It feels as if…

  1. …your words,”I thought I was going to lose her”, broke me. I know the love between sisters and brothers and the chord of love holds fast. We hurt when they hurt. I am delighted for life restored and joy returned. Our God is ‘ever’ good~

  2. I, too, felt the tears running! Tears of joy and tears of the pain of understanding. I have prayed so often for your sister, and to know that it is over . . AND . . . healing has begun. You know, there is a strange thing about restoration (my word for the year!) and healing. This might sound strange to say, but had I not gone through the hurt, pain, shame, etc., I would have never known the joy, the answered prayer, the “new” me! What seemed like a death sentence had become a precious gift. I think of that verse, “Every good gift and every perfect gift cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no shadow of turning.” Perfect gifts don’t always come wrapped in pretty paper, but if we let our Father have His way, we find that all is well, all is perfect, and we are left looking a little more like Him!

  3. Thank you for this sweet update on your sister’s journey back to life, fullness of life and joy to be alive. It reminds me of the scripture about the grain of wheat that falls to the ground and dies, then the season changes and new life springs up and a rich harvest follows. Rejoicing with you, that she made it through.

  4. Dear Ladies of My Blog,

    I am learning (in real time) about the goodness of God, the white horse and Romans 8:28,29. All is good. My sister is learning this, too, and that evil is real. It’s so good to have the ‘amen’ corner drop by here today. Love you!

  5. Dawn, Thanks for sharing this with us. So happy for your sister and isn’t this just the way our gracious, wonderful Lord rewards those who “see it through.” His blessings seem to be pressed down and running over. Don’t know why we should be surprised but we always are. May you and your family have a wonderful Merry Christmas. Love you mucho.

    • I think of those who never get the joy of long endurance and the thrill of pressing on. So many just do the next thing that feels good and miss the exhilaration of victory that ‘giving it all’ yields. I think about this today as my doctor’s wife, Liz, goes again through a peer to peer with my health insurance company to try to get my husband’s most expensive medication covered under our health plan. I asked her why she was willing to keep going back again and again for us. She said, “Because I love the thrill of victory when I win.” Ah, yes, a life with purpose….
      Thanks for dropping by, Dear Nancy. I hope to see you soon!

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